Probably like many parents, Anat and I invest huge amounts of time, thought and energy on deciding how to educate our kids. We very often engage in long discussions in order to determine what's the appropriate way to handle difficulties, crises, wills, requests and behaviors. Usually these conversations are held with the relevant daughter, but sometimes there are also "policy talks" involving parents only. It's interesting to note that, at least for us, such debates take place regarding the second and third daughters (Hadas & Maayan), pretty much as frequently as they occur regarding our oldest daughter, Noga.
A recurring theme is our approach towards consumerism and its derivatives. For example, we don't have cable TV at home. Whereas a surprisingly large proportion of our friends also don't have cable TV at home (I can think offhand about 7 families), this is certainly unusual amongst Noga's and Hadas' friends from school. They explicitly say they wish we also had cable TV, and we often and in depth explain why we think it's a bad idea, and why DVDs (we purchase practically any DVD they ask for) are a better option. While I can happily live without understanding the lunch conversations about last night's "Survival" episode, this is naturally harder for Hadas and Noga. Clearly, there's more to it than not having watched a certain show - it's about being different. Obviously, coping with being different is harder on kids than on us adults.
Let's examine another example, of cell phones. In today's Israel, it turns out, being a 4th grader without a cell phone is an exception. At least in the better Haifa neighborhoods. Naturally, Noga feels the pressure and has responded by requesting that we buy her a cell phone of her own.
Now, I despise cell phones and the culture that evolved around them. I own one only because I need it for my on-call duties at Google (to serve as a pager), and when I'm not on duty it's usually turned off in my backpack. I maintain that I work in an office, and 99% of the time anyone can reach me and get a response within less than an hour. But let's not dive into that too deeply.
There's almost no question that Noga doesn't *need* a cell phone. She wants one because all her friends have cell phones. We're talking about a very simple model and plan, even though other kids in her class have iPhone and all sorts of equivalent expensive toys. There's no financial obstacle here, we can definitely afford it. But it just feels so wrong to me.
So - To Buy or Not To Buy?
Comments (either via email, verbally or a comment in this blog) are more than welcome. I'm interested in hearing your opinions.
Have a lovely weekend,
Giora
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2 comments:
As long you explain to Noga the pros and cons of using a cell phone, and you monitor her conversations, I think it is not that awful idea for kids to have a cell phone.
1. Sometime something really happens, a crisis, and you want them to be able to call you.
2. It is reassuring for the kid to have a way to get you in case of trouble (it may also be reassuring for the parent).
3. She wants it, and she is a big girl. If she has it and rarely uses it, the cons are minimized.
4. You want to keep the topics in which she is different from the other kids to a reasonable minimum. Take out the things that maximize the damage according to your definition (e.g., TV)
5. She does not have internet at work, and her ability to get information is much more limited. Cell phone can be great, sometimes, to get needed information, even for Noga.
I would explain her that using a cell phone increases her chances for brain tumor, that it costs money, that using it while in class is strictly prohibited, etc. But all in all, I am in favor.
Cheers,
The one who thinks that if you want your kid to be different, teach him/her what are eigen vectors before the age of 13....
This is so interesting! I honestly don't have a very strong opinion about this issue, especially because I don't have kids and haven't worked through all the pros and cons. But, I will say that my now 14-year old brother spends much of his time glued to his phone, despite my dad and step-mom's attempts to stop it, and also answers texts while at school! I know this because I texted him one day when I thought he didn't have school, and then when he wrote back that he was in class, I told him to stop texting!
Anyhow, just my musings. Hope you are all well. We miss you guys!
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